


Anxiety, Bullet Journals, and Cat Cafés

by QQI25



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Cat Cafés, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QQI25/pseuds/QQI25
Summary: Wade isn't living the best lifestyle, but there's not much he can do, because he's unmotivated. Until he finds the cat café and meets Peter, who works there. Wade starts going every night and they quickly become friends.





	Anxiety, Bullet Journals, and Cat Cafés

**Author's Note:**

> dUdes i've been working on this since 6/17 nd i've FINALLY FINISHED!! i do gotta warn u after the second half or so, there's not much abt the cat café. it focuses more on their relationship.  
> also sorry if u feel the quality deteriorates lmao i just wanted to finish noah fence. it's fucking TWENTY PGS IN GOOGLE DOCS. so yeah. a Big Boi
> 
> edit: lmfao I’m so sorry to the ppl who saw my notes. i shld dEf rd thru a long fic like this nxt time
> 
> it's based off a post from symbiote-spideypool on tumblr!

Wade _knows_ his lifestyle isn’t a very good one. He knows that just because he can’t be killed doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try to stay alive. He knows that just because ~~he~~ some people don’t like his skin doesn’t mean everyone will make fun of or pity him. He knows that just because his line of work doesn’t call for a lot of human interaction doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try to make more of an effort to do that himself out _side_ of work. He knows he should probably see a therapist. He knows that all and he’s _trying_. He really is. It’s just hard to keep it up when there’s no one around to encourage him or notice how hard he’s trying.

So he decides maybe he’s gonna get a pet. It’s the next best thing to human interaction. He’d get something else living in his apartment, something to talk to ~~besides the boxes~~ that wouldn’t make him look completely crazy, and something to hold. He’s seriously contemplating what pet to get when he realises that if he can’t take care of himself, then how in the hell is he gonna take care of something else? He honestly feels betrayed, even though that’s irrational and stupid.

Wade’s just gone back home to change after a mission so he can go to the store to buy some things. He’s heading to the store, whistling, when he spots it. A cat café. It’s the perfect solution! It still looks open, so he tests the door, and when it’s clear it’s unlocked, lets himself in. He looks around in awe. There aren’t any other people, but there _are_ definitely quite a few cats, so while it’s not loud, it’s not quiet either. There’s a lot of space for humans to sit, and there’s places for the cats. He stands awkwardly at the door until a worker - Peter, his nametag says - approaches him.

“Welcome. Would you like to order anything?”

“Uh yeah. Could I get a chocolate chip cookie and hot chocolate?”

“Of course! You can sit anywhere, and I’ll get your cookie and drink to you.” Wade does as Peter says, finding a spot on a couch in a corner by a table. Peter is very nice. Some cats approach Wade, and a little squeak of excitement may or may not escape him.

“You’re free to pet them, so long as you stop if they don’t want to be pet anymore,” Peter calls out helpfully. That means it’s safe, so Wade tentatively sticks his hand out. Upon reaching it out, one particularly friendly cat rubs themself under his palm, and he smiles real wide. The other cats start to cautiously approach him. They’re more alike than the cats realise.

“Here you go. Can I sit with you?” Wade nods, so Peter sits down and places the tray in front of Wade. He reluctantly stops giving the cats attention to give his food attention. His stomach’s growling. He hadn’t noticed. He _does_ notice how a cat slips comfortably into Peter’s lap.

“I take it you’re a chocolate kinda guy,” Peter remarks, idly petting the cat.

“And you’re a night shift kinda guy,” Wade quips back. Peter laughs.

“You got me there. Wanna know more about these guys?” Wade nods eagerly, so Peter starts telling him all about the cats.

Wade goes home that night a lot happier than he’s been in a long while, stomach full. He forgets about how he was originally supposedta go to the store.

-/-/-

Wade goes to the café almost every night now. He’ll go in the daytime eventually but he’s still scared as fuck to go to the store in the day when everyone can see him and judge him and laugh at his skin and watch him fuck up and - it’s just better to go at night for now.

It’s nice to settle into a routine. Peter’s always there, and now knows Wade by name. They talk a lot, and when Wade isn’t feeling up to it, Peter’s always willing to ramble on about the cats or his own life. The cats are getting more and more comfortable with him. It’s quiet and calming there. He always leaves happier than he entered.

“Today we’re gonna talk about your eating habits,” Peter announces when Wade walks in. Wade stiffens up.

“What - uh, what do you mean?” Wade asks uncomfortably.

“Oh no, no, not like that. I’m sorry, Wade. I only meant that, well, you always order the same thing when you come in. Don’t you wanna try anything else?” Wade relaxes and Peter smiles, taking Wade’s hand in his and leading him over to the counter. Wade swears he still feels the warmth of Peter’s hand when he’s let go. He wonders if Peter feels the same.

“Look, Wade, there’s so many more chocolate foods on this menu, if it’s chocolate you like. You don’t hafta be nervous about ordering something else. It’s just me. I won’t feel offended if you don’t like it. And if you don’t like it, I’ll just eat it for you. No biggie,” Peter says reassuringly. Wade exhales. Peter’s right. It’s just Peter, and he knows Peter well. And Peter’s offered to eat whatever he doesn’t want. Wade nods and Peter waits patiently.

“Can I try . . . the chocolate chip muffin and uh . . . is it - can I just get a hot cocoa?”

“Of course! Of course, Wade.” Peter shoos him to his usual spot in the corner, and cats follow him. There’s Peaches and Snowball and Fred and Callie, who all love him and crowd around him whenever he sits now. Peter comes over and sits, placing the tray in front of Wade. Spots and Sunny and Rascal follow him.

The muffin’s actually quite good. Wade makes sure to tell Peter this, and Peter beams.

-/-/-

They’ve got a new cat, and Peter’s really excited. He takes Wade’s hand in both of his, bringing him to the back. Peter does that often, the hand grabbing thing. Wade doesn’t mind. Likes it, in fact.

“- and we can’t let her out in front yet, because she’s not used to that amount of human contact yet. But you get to come back and visit her, because you’re you,” Peter explains.

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us,” Wade murmurs. Peter regards him for a moment.

“Then I’m sure you’ll get on like a house on fire.” Wade laughs softly, and then they’re silent, Wade getting acquainted with this new cat.

They go back out front and Wade orders a chocolate scone and green tea with honey and lemon, the way Peter special-makes it for Wade. He does that, now. He tries something different almost every time he enters. And once, Peter’d made himself a drink and asked if Wade wanted to try it because it was green tea with honey and lemon which was not on the menu, but was his favourite. It was all a ploy to expand Wade’s drink selection, but it’d worked. Wade now orders it instead of hot cocoa.

“Hey, back there, when you said because I’m me, I . . . what did you mean? By that?” Wade asks hesitantly.

“Oh. I meant because you’re you. You’re my favourite regular,” Peter says, like it’s just that simple. Wade’s pleased though, because Peter’s his favourite too. “But don’t tell anyone else.” Wade’s taken by surprise, barks out a short laugh.

“Not like there’s anyone else around to tell. Not like I have any friends. Not like I can handle being around more than three people at a time,” Wade says bitterly.

“Wade, I . . . it’s okay, y’know? If you have social anxiety. It’s not something you have control over,” Peter says.

“Can we - not talk about this right now?”

“Of course, Wade. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t feel comfortable talking about,” Peter says firmly. He smoothly steers the topic of conversation, though it’s really only him talking.

Wade feels bad the rest of the night, even though he knows Peter probably doesn’t mind. It’s just that he feels like Peter has to do this so often, avoid something because of Wade. He resolves to go see a therapist that night so he doesn’t explode on his only (human) friend like that again.

-/-/-

Seeing a therapist helps a lot, it turns out. He’s got schizophrenia and depression and GAD and social anxiety. He was scared at first, to see one because of who he is and what he does, but he’s helped Tony Stark out a few times and Tony’s said he owes Wade a favour, and he figures this counts. He admits to Tony that he thinks he needs a therapist, and Tony - to Wade’s surprise - is more than willing to help. Tony hooks Wade up with a therapist he promises won’t judge him. Wade trusts him.

And Tony’s right. Wade tells her all about himself, and she doesn’t judge. She talks him through his feelings, explains what he’s got, helps him with everything. He feels like a burden’s been lifted off of him.

She tells him about something called exposure therapy, and explains how she thinks it would help him. He agrees, and together, they establish the steps he’ll take. He’s got the chart thing all memorised.

Wade walks into the cat café at 7pm one evening. There’s a few other people around, and Peter’s behind the counter. When he sees Wade, his eyes widen and he waves at Wade. Wade waves back and smiles, which Peter returns. Wade walks up to the counter and approaches a worker who’s free.

“Hello! What would you like?”

“Hi. Can I get a brownie and a strawberry banana smoothie?”

“Of course! Find a seat and someone’ll bring your order to you.” It’s not bad at all, this interaction. On his way to his usual spot (which is thankfully empty), Wade makes sure to say a polite hello to any other patrons, and they return it. Oh my god. This is more human interaction than he’s had in days, and it’s going so well. He sits down and Callie plops herself in his lap. He pets her as he waits. A different worker brings his tray to him and he says a thank you. Another human interaction!

When Peter’s free, he makes a beeline toward Wade and swoops down to hug him, making sure his movements are big just in case Wade doesn’t want a hug. Wade lets Peter hug him. It’s only a little overwhelming for him, and he actually really likes it. He likes hugs and he likes that it’s his best friend _Peter_ who’s hugging him.

“Wade,” Peter enthuses. “Look at you! Coming into the catfé before 12! Interacting with all these humans! Ordering something new! I’m so proud of and happy for you, Wade!”

“Thanks,” Wade replies with a smile. “I’m uh, I’m seeing a therapist now. She’s really good and helpful, and we’re working on making the social anxiety a little more bearable.”

“Is that so? Wow Wade! That’s really big! That’s awesome!”

“Yeah. I don’t - uh, I don’t think I would’ve worked up the nerve to do this without you.”

“Oh Wade. You’re an amazing person, you know that?”

“I think I’m finally starting to,” he admits quietly. Peter gives him another hug, and then they’re playing with the cats.

He ends up staying long past the other patrons and workers leave, he and Peter and the cats keeping each other company.

-/-/-

There are more steps in the exposure therapy than going to the cat café earlier. Of course there are. So far, they are: grocery shopping in the day, going out with a hoodie but no hood up, doing something outside with a friend, and inviting a friend over.

He tells the therapist about his time at the café. He tells her about how he went at 7 instead of his usual time and how he ordered from someone who wasn’t Peter and how he said hi to everyone and how he let Peter hug him and how he stayed a really long time. He tells her about how happy and proud Peter was and how he made sure Wade was comfortable with hugging before hugging him. She says Peter sounds a like a really good friend and he says yeah he really is.

Today they’re going to work on his self-care habits, she says. She reminds him it’s not selfish to take care of himself because it’s vital. He says he likes schedules and knowing when things will happen so she says okay then let’s build a schedule for you. They work out when to get up and eat breakfast and brush his teeth and change and go out and eat lunch and eat dinner and go to sleep. She says no offense but you have many bad habits, Mr. Wilson. They both laugh because he knows it true. She tells him “go out” can mean anything from going up to the rooftop and sitting there to going out to the store to going to a museum or something. She says the most important thing is that he’s outside but he’s comfortable. She says he can go to the café whenever he wants or needs to, but his sleep schedule needs some improvement. They have a talk about him possibly having chronic insomnia, causes of it, symptoms, and solutions. She says remember to drink water. She says it’s okay if his schedule just changes because it’s just a suggestion. She says it’s okay to add to it or switch some things around.

When his time is up, she thanks him like he’s doing _her_ a favour for going to his appointments. He says you’re welcome and thank you back and she says you’re welcome and bye and have a nice day. He says you too. He leaves the building with his hood down and without sunglasses. He walks with his back straight and his head held high. It makes him feel good.

He goes to the café early and orders something different from a different worker again. He says hi to the other patrons he passes. Today, Peaches plops down on his lap. His blueberry muffin and milk tea are brought to him by another worker and he thanks them. Peter gives him a hug as a greeting.

“Hi Wade! How’s your day been?”

“It’s been good. I went to the therapist and we made a schedule for me. And she said I need to drink more water and I need to try to sleep earlier.”

“That’s cool that you’ve got a schedule! And I think I have an idea for you: bullet journaling. It’s become very popular, and it’s a sort of planner, I guess. People customise it however they want, because really it’s for the individual. But there’s the monthly planner, and the weekly planner, and the habit tracker. Here, I’ll show you! It’s actually kind of a guilty pleasure for me to look at all those bullet journals. They’re just so aesthetic!” Peter laughs and pulls out his phone. He opens up Instagram and proceeds to show Wade a lot of “spreads”. They excite Wade too.

“Do _you_ have a bullet journal, Peter?”

“Little ol’ me? Nah. I don’t really have the money to buy all the supplies.” They go back to petting cats for a while. Wade’s been wanting to ask for Peter’s number. They’ve known each other for a while, and if he has Peter’s number, then he’ll feel even _more_ like he has a friend. He hadn’t been brave enough to do it, but now, he feels like he’s ready. The worst that can happen is Peter saying no, but the best that can happen - and the most realistic thing - is Peter saying yes. So he decides to ask.

“Hey, Peter? Could I, uh, could we exchange numbers?”

“Of course! I’d love to!” Peter smiles and Wade smiles and they exchange phones to input each other’s number in the other’s phone. When they give their phones back to each other, Wade notices that Peter’s taken a goofy selfie for his contact picture. It’s very Peter. He smiles at it.

At 12, he decides maybe he should go home, try to sleep earlier. He’s not tired, but maybe when he gets in bed he will be.

“Hey Peter, I think I might head home now.”

“Of course! Gotta sleep more, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry about me, Wade. I’ve got all these lovely cats keeping me company! Good night! I hope you sleep well!”

“Thanks. I hope you have a good night too, and that you sleep well whenever you go to bed.” _Wade_ initiates the hug today, and Peter’s surprised, but the good kind of surprised, Wade thinks.

It turns out going to bed does _not_ make Wade tired, but it’s okay, because he’s got all these tips and tricks to try out now. After 30 minutes of laying in bed trying to sleep, Wade gets up, because it’s better to leave and associate this room purely with sleep. He heads to his kitchen to get a glass of water, and then goes to sit on the couch in his living room. He decides maybe he should try meditating. His therapist had told him about three videos by a Youtube channel called “Pick Up Limes”, a how to meditate guide. So he watches those, and it turns out it’s not hard or scary at all. He meditates for the first time.

It’s 2 when he’s back in bed, thoroughly tired out, but it’s still way earlier than he usually goes to sleep. He considers it a win.

-/-/-

The next step in exposure therapy is to go shopping in the day. He sits down at the dining table and plans out his meals for the week so he can get everything at once. Once he’s got the meals and ingredients required worked out, he plans out the route to the store. He remembers too, about bullet journaling, so he finds a stationery store nearby he can go to. And then it’s the actual going out part.

Today is a kind of good day. He wears a hoodie and a cap, but not his mask and not his hood. He hasn’t worn his mask out in a while. The stores he’s decided on are farther away than a walk, because he figures the subway won’t be so bad. He likes the subway, likes to watch all the buildings, likes to stand and hold onto a pole, likes how convenient it is. It probably won’t be too busy at this time; people’ll be at work. And if he needs, he can call or text his therapist and Peter. He’s brought reusable bags with him. Hopefully there’s enough. He’s excited for today. He’s excited to go to the stationery store and check out all the things they have.

The grocery store is uneventful. People stare at him, as they always do, but he reminds himself that he’s probably never gonna see them again after today, and that their opinions don’t matter. The main event is the stationery store. It’s a nice, big place with multiple levels. There’s so many _journals_ alone; there’s walls of them. He chooses one for himself, and then remembers how Peter can’t afford one, and buys another for Peter. They’ll match! And then the writing utensils. He buys pens and markers for both of them. No time like the present to learn how to handletter and other fancy bullet journal stuff.

Shopping excursion done, Wade heads back home with all his bags. At home, he unpacks and puts away everything, setting aside the bullet journal stuff somewhere he’ll remember to grab it later. Then he sets about making the first meal he’s got planned.

His lunch is delicious (obviously, because he’s a good cook). And then he spends pretty much the rest of the time ‘til he goes to the cat café looking at stuff that has to do with bullet journaling. He looks at many instagram pages, some of them the ones that Peter showed him and some of them ones he found himself. He also watches youtube videos showing people’s spreads, or how to handletter. The time actually goes by fairly quickly, and in no time he’s walking to the cat café, both sets of bullet journal - or “bujo”, as he’d learned - stuff in a bag.

He goes through his same routine, orders something new, says hi to other patrons, sits in his spot. He and some of the other workers and patrons know each other by name now. There’s Clint who’s a worker, and whom he’s friends with. It’s really nice for both of them, because they both know ASL, Clint because he’s deaf, and Wade for those times he’s nonverbal. He’s also really funny and kind. There’s Bucky the patron, who’s a quiet vet. The bag, he sets tucked between him and the wall. Peter eventually comes and sits by him.

“Hey, Wade! How’s your day been?”

“It’s been pretty good actually. I planned my meals for the week and took the subway to a store to buy everything. I didn’t need my mask, and I didn’t wear my hood up. I _did_ have a cap, but only because it was sunny.”

“Your mask?”

“Oh. Uh, I have a mask for really bad days or sometimes going to new places.”

“You didn’t wear it here,” Peter notes.

“Yeah, I didn’t. I-I had it on me that first day, just in case, but you didn’t make me feel like I needed it,” Wade admits shyly.

“Oh, Wade. I’m gonna hug you. I’m so happy you feel comfortable around me!” Peter _does_ hug him, because Wade lets him. And it’s true. Wade’s _always_ felt comfortable around Peter.

“I also went to a stationery store, because I remembered how you told me about bullet journalling. And I got some stuff.” He reaches in the bag to pull out a journal and a pack of pens and a pack of markers and sets it on the table.

“Oh wow. Can I look at this?”

“Yeah, of course. You can open everything, if you want.” Peter does, making sure to be very careful. He flips through the journal, then looks at a pen nib, then inspects both sides of a marker.

“These are all so nice, Wade! Thanks for letting me look at them.” He slides them back in front of Wade, and Wade slides them back in front of Peter. Peter looks up at him, confused.

“Those’re actually for you. I have my own. We match.” Wade reaches back into the bag to pull out the other set.

“I - Wade,” Peter says falteringly.

“What? Do you not like it?” Wade asks anxiously.

“No! I-I _love_ it, of course I do, but this is too much. This must’ve been expensive.”

“I don’t mind. You’re my friend. I want you to have it.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Yes. I know it’ll make you happy, and it’ll make me happy.”

“Thank you so much Wade.” Peter hugs Wade really tight, so Wade knows Peter’s not mad at him and it’s okay.

-/-/-

He’s not in the right mindset for this, his job. Hasn’t been for a while. He’d been okay doing it, well not _okay_ but he survived. Well, he always did.

But something had changed. He’d decided to take care of himself, maybe. Met the cats, maybe. Met Pete, maybe. Gotten a therapist, maybe. Whatever it is, his job hasn’t been the same for a long time. He doesn’t . . . doesn’t get any satisfaction or anything from it anymore. He doesn’t _feel_ anything towards whatever job or mission or assignment he picks up. He’s bored, he’s done, he feels normal again. And he has more money than he knows what to do with.

He supposes, suddenly, that if he doesn’t like it anymore, he doesn’t have to do it. It’d be easy to go incognito; it’s al _ready_ easy for him to do that now, but he could do that permanently. He could change his number, stop wearing the suit out. No one knows what he looks like with _out_ the suit. So he does that. He crushes the old phone, buys a new one, and changes his number. He’ll have to tell Peter he had an unfortunate accident and give him his new number later.

He goes to his therapist today. He tells her about how he basically just quit his job today. He tells her about how he hadn’t been feeling anything while doing it and doesn’t see the point in it anymore. She tells him congratulations and I’m very proud of you and are you looking for another job. He tells her not really, because of the money. She asks if he needs something to do, if he’s bored, because a job would certainly help with that. He tells her he’ll think about it.

Then it’s time for a check in. She asks him has his schedule been working out for him and he tells her that yes it is. He says he’s leaving the café at or before 12 so he can get some sleep. He tells her he can’t always sleep but he does the stuff from those websites and meditates and actually really enjoys meditating. She tells him good for him. He tells her he thinks he’s starting to make new friends because of how often he goes to the café and she says that’s really good. He says yeah it really is.

-/-/-

It turns out word spreads quickly when the most infamous mercenary disappears from the scene. Of course it is. He’s honestly pretty impressed with himself for actually being able to pull it off, because knowing you can do it and actually doing it are pretty different things. The reason he knows this is because Tony fucking Stark, of all people, contacts him. He’d moved over contacts he wanted to keep from his old phone to his new and texted Tony, and Tony’s not busy now.

“Hey, Wade. Heard a certain merc’s vanished,” is how Tony begins the call. Well. Getting right to the point.

“Really?”

“S’what I heard. How’s life treatin’ you?”

“Same way it’s always treated me, ‘cept I don’t have a job now.”

“So I’ve heard, so I’ve heard. Hey. So I could always use a bodyguard for Pep. You free?”

“Oh. I uh, sure. Wow. That’d be cool.”

“‘Course. Just text me or some shit, give me times, I dunno. Usual job stuff.”

“You _do_ know I’ve never done regular job stuff, right?”

“Yeah, of course. Okay so what do you wanna do then?”

“Just treat it like one of _my_ jobs, I guess. You text me when you need me and I’ll show up.”

“Cool cool, glad we got that figured out. I’ll text you when I need you, then. Bye Wilson.”

“Bye Stark.” Okay. So as far as social interactions go, this one wasn’t overwhelming. He’d been surprised at the job offer but hey, he had too much free time on his hands anyway.

At the café, he tells Peter about the phone situation. Peter says it’s no biggie and gets his new number. He debates telling Peter about the job thing, but decides not to. It might be bad to withhold information, but he’s too scared. Not now. Not when they’re actually friends and he’s actually _got_ a friend.

-/-/-

 **Peter**  
dude there’s so many possibilities w/ the bujo  
i don’t even kno where to start

 **Wade**  
we cld do it together?  
u cld come to my house one day nd we cld bingewatch bujo vids nd then make our spreads

 **Peter**  
tht sounds awesome!  
I’d love to!

 **Wade**  
cool  
then we’ll just meet on a day ur free

 **Peter**  
I’ll be sure to tell u when i am!

-/-/-

That first day that Peter comes over, Wade has a lot of fun. He’s nervous as fuck, but he has a lot of fun. He can tell Peter does too.

They start meeting up at Wade’s house more often, and it turns into a weekly thing. Peter brings over his bullet journal and markers and pens and they make their weekly spreads. Sometimes they steal inspiration from bujo accounts, and sometimes they come up with ideas on their own. It’s such a nice way to spend time and connect with a friend. They start using more stuff, like washi tape and stickers and stamps. Wade also buys a Polaroid camera so he can have more aesthetic-looking pictures to put in the bujo. 

It helps Wade a lot, the bullet journal. He likes having something to do, especially something that helps provide him with a structure. He likes that it’s okay if he doesn’t do something in his bujo, because it could always be cancelled or moved to be another day. He likes the habit tracker and how it compels him to keep doing something, because he likes seeing it filled in.

-/-/-

Some days are bad days for Wade. He can’t get himself to go out to the store, only stays up on the rooftop. The rooftop is high and far away from other people. He doesn’t really feel hungry so he doesn’t eat. It messes up his habit tracker, but on those days, he doesn’t give a fuck about it. It’s just squares on paper. He feels like _everyone’s staring_ so he wears a cap and a hood and sunglasses and one of those masks sick people use. The only time he feels slightly okay is the cat café, and on those days, he goes past 7, closer to 10. At 10, people are going to sleep. At 10, not so many people are around. When Peter comes to his table is when he finally feels okay enough to shed everything, except maybe the hood. Peter always offers Wade a hug, and some days he can take and does need a hug, but some days he can’t handle it. Peter never gets cross, never judges. He sits next to Wade, and some days Wade rests his head on Peter’s shoulder and Peter puts a comforting arm around him. Some days, Wade sits hunched over, hands in his lap. Some days, Wade sits with a rigid back.

Today is a bad day, and so Peter talks to distract him. He always does. Some days, Wade feels bad.

“- but anyway, one of our cats has been out of it, not herself, right? Well, it turns out she was pregnant. God, can’t believe we missed that. D’you wanna see her kittens?” Wade nods, so Peter gets up and holds out his hand. Wade takes it and Peter leads him to the back.

“Look at her! She’s so precious, and so are her cats! I wish I could take them home and just keep ‘em!” Wade nods. It’s something Peter always says when he takes Wade back to see a new cat, and something Wade always agrees with. He can’t have a cat because of how absentminded he is, and Peter can’t have one because his apartment building doesn’t allow pets. They’re not allowed to pet the kittens because they’re so . . . new? Young? The mom wouldn’t allow them to.

Still, when they go back to Wade’s spot, the cats are too loud for him. He’s getting stressed. Peter notices, of course.

“Hey. Why don’t you go home? It’s pretty late, y’know? The cats will always be here tomorrow. I will too, of course. You look tired, Wade.”

“Can’t sleep,” Wade whispers, shaking his head.

“Okay. That’s okay. Doesn’t mean you can’t go home. Do you _want_ to go home? Get away from all the cats? It’s okay if you do. If you need, I can go home with you. Do you want that?” Wade hesitates, but nods, because yeah, that sounds perfect.

“Okay. You stay here, and I’ll just go clock out.” Wade does, gathering up what little belongings he’s brought with him. Peter comes back over.

“You ready?” Wade nods, and they head out. They walk back to Wade’s place in no time at all, and Wade lets them in. His place feels _too_ empty. He hadn’t thought this far when he invited Peter over. He’d just known he didn’t wanna be alone.

“Do you have any clothes for me? I actually hadn’t really thought before inviting myself over,” Peter admits with a small laugh. It makes Wade feel better that he’s not the only one. He goes to get Peter some clothes. The clothes are too big on Peter of course, who’s a scrawny little thing. He has to roll up the pant legs, and the shirt is more than a little baggy looking. He does a little twirl, and Wade finally smiles. He goes over to hug Wade, and they stand there swaying a little before Peter breaks it up and goes to sit on the couch next to the armrest. He pats the space next to him.

“Here. Come sit here with me.” Wade sits on the next square because he doesn’t wanna be weird, but Peter takes his hand and tugs it a little, so he ends up sitting close enough to Peter to lay his head on Peter’s shoulder. Peter wraps an arm around him. Peter talks in a soft voice to Wade until his blinks become longer and longer and he starts feeling tired. Peter notices. He always does when it comes to Wade. He’s good at that.

“Let’s get you to bed, Wade,” Peter says quietly. They both lay on Wade’s bed. Peter coaxes Wade closer, and Wade ends up with his head in Peter’s chest. It’s actually really nice. It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

-/-/-

They go from having bujo dates to having sleepovers as well. Peter always likes going to Wade’s place, because he’s “a broke ass college student”. Wade doesn’t mind. He likes the company, likes Peter. Peter’s got clothes and a toothbrush at Wade’s for sleepovers. It’s easier for him to go to work from Wade’s anyways, and sometimes Wade goes with him when he clocks in.

One night, they find a cat that needs a place to stay, and Peter’s sad and Wade’s sad, and Wade’s _weak_ , and they somehow end up bringing a cat, kitty litter, cat food, a bed, and a few toys to Wade’s place. They both giggle at Wade’s door with the ridiculousness of all their fucking _stuff_.

The cat stays with Wade, which means Peter stays with Wade. They settle into even _more_ of a routine. Peter has no qualms about going out to buy groceries and shit, so he takes over that, but sometimes Wade goes with him. Wade is the better cook out of the two of them, so he makes the food. They take the cat to the vet to make sure the cat’s all healthy. 

They don’t name it, at first. Peter insists that if they name the cat, then they’ll get too attached, and when it’s time for them to give the cat to the café (because they _have_ to because Wade’s not ready and Peter’s apartment can’t house cats), they’ll have a harder time letting go. But at this point, it’s been _weeks_ and both the cat _and_ Peter are _still_ staying with Wade (“It’s easier to get to work!”) _and_ there’s a whole area dedicated to the cat, so Wade figures what the hell, a name can’t hurt. It’s easier than just saying “here kitty, kitty” all the time. The cat’s got brown patches scattered all over, and loves laying in the patches of sunlight, so he chooses the name “Patches”. It’s pretty cute, if he does say so himself. The string of photos he keeps on the wall is quickly filled with pictures of Patches and pictures of Peter and pictures of Patches _and_ Peter. 

-/-/-

A month and a half in, Peter and Patches are _still_ there. Peter goes back to his own apartment once in a blue moon if he needs something that’s there, but for the most part, he’s over at Wade’s. Wade tells his therapist this, because he tells his therapist everything. He tells his therapist how nice it is to have a person and an animal to keep him company. He tells his therapist how lively the house feels. His therapist is silent for a moment, seemingly considering his words and her response. She finally says she’s happy he feels this way and has he ever considered having Peter as a roommate? Wade’s stunned, because he actually hasn’t, and he tells her that. He tells her too, about how he quite likes the dynamic he and Peter have established, how they’ve built another routine. She says that from what he’s said, Peter likes it as well, and if he he really wants to, he could ask Peter if they wanna be roommates, and that she feels like the most likely outcome would be Peter saying yes. She tells him if he’s nervous, the worst-case scenario is Peter saying no, but they’d still see each other at the café, and they’d still have each other’s numbers. He says okay, he’ll think about it, and she wishes him luck. She says thank you and goodbye, and he says you’re welcome and thank you and goodbye. 

At dinner that night, Wade asks Peter if he’d like to stay at Wade’s for permanently, as his roommate. Peter’s surprised, but says he’d love to. It makes Wade really happy. He asks too, if they could keep the cat, reasoning that their reasons for not keeping Patches were Peter’s apartment not allowing pets which didn’t matter anymore, and Wade not being prepared, which also didn’t matter anymore. He’s not the only one totally on board. 

-/-/-

It turns out, Peter hadn’t even had too much left at his place, anyway. A lot of his furniture is old, so they give a couch to the backroom of the café and the rest of it to various old peoples’ homes and vet centers and homeless shelters. It makes them both ecstatic, so they donate money to each place they give furniture to, as well as a Planned Parenthood and other shelters and such they didn’t give furniture to. 

-/-/-

Peter’s aunt wants to meet Wade. It’d probably been a long time coming. His Aunt May is a very important person to Peter, and he talks about her often. It’s just - Wade’s nervous. He _knows_ he’s getting over his fear of talking to strangers, but this isn’t just any stranger; it’s Peter’s aunt. Peter’s said a lot about how kind she is, and since she’s Peter’s _aunt_ it’s not hard to believe, but still. 

He agrees to meet her anyway, because he can’t hold it off forever. After having a talk, Peter and Wade agree it’s probably best for Aunt May to go to _their_ place. That way, Wade’s in a familiar environment, and can retreat to his room whenever he needs to. 

Wade makes dinner for the three of them the night Aunt May comes over. It’s calming to cook, and it takes his mind off the nerves. It turns out Aunt May loves baking too, because she comes over with a Tupperware of chocolate chip cookies. That eases Wade’s mind more, because he has yet to meet a baker/cook who’s not kind. 

Aunt May’s a really sweet lady. She immediately makes Wade feel comfortable, and she makes him feel loved. By the end of the night, she’s like Wade’s aunt too. They exchange numbers, and she tells Wade to “don’t be a stranger” and “call or text me whenever you need anything, sweetheart”. After she leaves, they gush about her. He wonders why he ever felt like he needed to be worried. 

-/-/-

They have a giant calendar on the wall in addition to their bullet journals. It’s where they keep track of when to go get groceries, any appointments, and any events. There’s also a chore chart and a grocery list. It makes them both feel very much like put-together adults. 

Wade’s home alone one evening when he’s struck with the realisation of the domesticity of it all. Some of the stuff is just roommate stuff, like how Peter gets the groceries and Wade cooks, or how they take turns doing chores. And then he thinks about how they _still_ share a bed. It’s not exactly common for guys to share a bed, especially spooning, but then again, most guys are troubled by toxic masculinity, and Wade’s never given a fuck about that shit. And Peter . . . what about Peter? What does Peter think about it all? He has no fucking idea. They’d never really sat down to have a talk about it at all. It stresses him out, and he brings it up with Peter when he gets home. It’s only 7 or so, because they eat dinner together because Peter knows Wade feels better when he’s not alone at night, and sleeps better when Peter’s there. Holy shit. He’d never really considered that before, but now he can’t stop thinking about it.

“Hey Peter, can we talk?”

“Yeah, of course, Wade. What’s up?”

“I’m not, like, leading you on or anything, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t, like, think we’re a couple or anything?’

“No? Why?”

“I don’t know, I - I don’t know. I hope I don’t sound like an asshole or anything, but like, we share a bed, and I don’t mind but people don’t normally do that and you never bring anyone over or talk about anyone and I know _I_ don’t so it’s unfair of me to call you out or single you out or whatever, and I just don’t want you to like, get mad at me if you realise we’re _not_ dating. But I also don’t _know_ what we are. Like, you feel like _more_ than a friend but you don’t feel like a boyfriend and I don’t really date people and I don’t under _stand_ and I’m stressed out,” Wade prattles on anxiously.

“Yeah I can see that,” Peter says, not without sympathy. He sits down next to Wade and takes Wade’s hand in his when there’s no objection, rubbing his thumb over it soothingly. “How long have you been feeling like this?”

“Not long. I just thought about it today.” 

“Okay, well we’ll figure it out together, yeah? You don’t need to worry about anything. Whatever we are doesn’t need a label, but it seems to stress you out that there _isn’t_ a label so we’ll find one. No biggie. ‘S what the internet’s for, right? I’m sure there’s a term or label out there that fits us. Okay? You’re not alone. I’m here for you.” Wade lets out a breath and forces his body to stop tensing up. Peter puts an arm around his shoulders and he melts into Peter’s side. 

“Okay.”

-/-/-

Their search luckily yields results, but not right away. They look up “more than friends but less than dating” and “best friends but more extreme”, but don’t find anything really useful there. It’s just friends with benefits, which is definitely _not_ what they are, and soulmates, which they decide they probably are, but doesn’t help much. And then they try looking up “romantic orientation”, and _that’s_ when they finally get somewhere. The second link is to an article titled “Romantic orientation” from the Asexual wiki. The bottom has multiple romantic orientations, and Wade clicks on WTFromantic, partly because it amuses and intrigues him and partly because he can relate to that. The end of the little blurb is the words “queerplatonic relationship”, and it’s a hyperlink, so Wade clicks it. When he reads that first sentence of the blurb on queerplatonic, he relaxes. It’s exactly what he’d felt about them. There’s a link to a more extensive article on the Aromantic wiki about Queerplatonic, so he clicks that. The more he reads, the more excited he gets. A small part of him had rationalised that he can’t be the _on_ ly person on Earth feeling that way, but most of him had felt incredulous at that thought. When they’re done reading, they look at each other. 

“That you? That us?” Peter asks him gently.

“I - yeah,” he admits shyly. “I mean, _I_ feel like it fits. Do _you_?” 

“Yeah, I do. So it’s all settled then? Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” They smile at each other. Patches mews. Peter envelops Wade in a hug.

“I love you Peter,” Wade says. 

“I love you Wade,” Peter says back.

**Author's Note:**

> 1) the cats' names are all from the game Neko Atsume!! 
> 
> 2) their internet experience is me doing research to make sure it's genuine, both in wht they'd search nd in the results! it's actually rly hard to find qpp/qpr if ur not aro nd kno where to look hahaha


End file.
